The Power of a Daily Parts Check-In: Building Trust and Connection with Your Internal System
When it comes to therapy and inner work, it's useful to establish a consistent practice that helps you connect with and understand your internal system. One powerful tool for achieving this is the daily parts check-in practice.
By setting aside time each day to tune in and connect with your parts, you can start to build trust within your internal system. This in turn enables deeper work to happen during therapy.
In this article, I'll explore the benefits of a daily parts check-in practice, as well as some practical tips for how to get started. I'll also touch on the different ways you can approach the check-in and how to handle any resistance that may come up.
Benefits of a Daily Parts Check-In Practice
A daily parts check-in practice can help you get to know your system and to get used to being in contact with your parts also outside therapy sessions.
By creating space for parts to be heard and witnessed, the less they feel they need to take over in extreme ways. This can lead to a more balanced and harmonious internal system, and more space and understanding of your emotions and reactions.
Additionally, the check-in can be used to connect with exiles that have been recently unburdened and to hear from any parts that need your attention. By addressing these parts regularly, you can prevent them from becoming stuck or taking over in problematic ways.
Practical Tips for Starting a Daily Parts Check-In Practice
To get started with a daily parts check-in practice, it's important to choose a time and a place that works for you. You may find it helpful to pair the check-in with another routine you have, such as a meditation practice. You could also do the check-in after waking up each morning or before going to bed, so that it is linked to something else that happens every day.
It can also be useful to try different approaches to the check-in to see what works for you. Here are some ideas for different ways to check in with your parts:
Invite any parts that need your attention to speak up and spend time hearing out that part/those parts
Create a list of the parts that you know of and check in with a different part every day
Check in with a recently unburdened exile and its protector
Check in with a part that you have worked with during your recent therapy session
Use physical representations of parts such as small figurines, and focus on one of them each day to connect with it
Think of a recent situation where a part of you got triggered and check in with that part
Example steps for a parts check-in
If you're new to parts check-ins, here's an example structure you can follow:
Turn your attention inwards and focus on your thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Notice what parts of yourself are present.
Invite any part that needs attention to come forward and see what you notice about it (image, sensation, feeling, thoughts).
Check how you feel towards the part. If you feel curiosity or compassion, send those emotions to the part. Spend time welcoming and connecting with it.
Ask the part to share what it wants to communicate with you. Listen actively, acknowledging and validating its experience.
Ask the part what it needs from you right now. Our parts often desire to feel seen, understood, and appreciated.
Thank the part for communicating with you and say goodbye to it. Let it know when you'll check back in with it and invite it to connect with you again in the future.
Stumbling Blocks and How to Overcome Them
When doing a parts check-in, people often encounter stumbling blocks that hinder the process. Here are some tips to help you overcome these challenges:
Blending with Other Parts
Our parts tend to have strong opinions of each other, and it’s common for other parts to blend in as you connect with a part. If you notice another part coming up in reaction to the part you're trying to connect with, ask it to relax back and let it know that you will hear it out after you've connected with the first part. If it doesn’t want to step back, you can do the check-in with this part instead.
If you feel the presence of several parts and cannot focus on one, you can address the parts as a group. If that feels difficult, it’s okay to stay at the stage of noticing the feelings, sensations, and thoughts coming from the parts and just let those parts know you see and feel them.
Dealing with Parts that Need a lot of Attention
Protectors that are still in extreme roles and exiles that have been recently triggered may need more time and attention than you're able to give them during a daily check-in.
Let those parts know that you will come back to help them once it is safe to do so, for example during your next therapy session or when you have more time to be with them.
Parts that are Non-Verbal
The check-in doesn't need to include verbal dialogue with the part. Parts can communicate with us also through energy, sensations or images. Let the part know you’re open to other ways of receiving information from it.
Some parts might be easier to connect with through different types of activities such as writing, creating art, movement such as yoga or dance, or any other type of activity you know the part enjoys.
Managing Resistant Parts
Check for any parts that feel resistant to the idea of a check-in and spend time with them to understand and address their concerns.
If there are parts that feel stressed out by the idea of a daily check-in, or if there are parts that get critical if you cannot follow through with a check-in practice, work with those parts first before trying to set up a check-in routine again.
Balancing Internal Work
Be mindful of Self-like parts that try to push the system to do more internal work than is realistic for you right now.
Self-like parts usually show up with a calm or a compassionate energy, but unlike Self, they have an agenda. This agenda could be to want to be a good therapy client, get to exiles and heal them as fast as possible or to try and decide which parts deserve your attention.
Self-like parts sometimes try to establish a complicated or lengthy check-in routine. You may have to work with these parts first so that you can be able to move at a pace that's comfortable for your whole system.
Conclusion
By following these tips, I hope you can overcome any stumbling blocks and create a parts check-in routine that works for you.
If you’re interested in learning more, I encourage you to check out Michelle Glass's Daily Parts Meditation Practice book and free resources on her website to get some more guidance for building a check-in practice.
